Where do the dreams go?

Where do the dreams go- when they are lost, buried, or drowned out by the louder sounds? Does anything ever really disappear? Is anything ever really destroyed?

Or — does the spark live on? Does it seed itself into the fertile matter of the subconscious? Does it wind and weave through this breathe and that moment and alchemize into a new perspective, motivation, idea? Does it wait- content and potent- to spring through to the surface when the time is right?

Lately I’ve been feeling into the complex web of my being. It is made up of past experiences, lessons, regrets, pleasures, hopes, dreams, ideas, efforts, failures, and the echo of every tiny and incomprehensibly huge emotion I’ve ever felt.

There is medicine there. There is information. I am grateful for it all.

I don’t believe that any of my dreams have ever died or disappeared. I believe that they are there- in my underworld, in my shadow- feeding my current passions and ideas and projects. I believe that they are shaping my reality. I believe that any failure along my path was truly an important lesson, necessary for allowing me to arrive to exactly where I am today.

& even that which was never within my control - my inherited ancestral trauma, the traumas of my own childhood, the big bad world out there, and the powers of capitalism and politicians and corporations that would try to control me and keep me small and poor and helpless. Tricks and traps coiled like snakes at my feet, waiting for me to take one fatal step in the wrong direction. Even for all of these things, I am grateful. These have been lessons, too. Opportunities for growth, opportunities for building strength and resilience and flexibility. Fuel for my fire. A reminder of what is truly important to me.

Through these layers of growth and shedding and challenges and traumas and confusion, there is this INCREDIBLE self at the center. The center of my being- my soul, my essence, my truest self. She is there: radiant, powerful, and strong. She knows exactly where she is going, through these winding paths, even when my ego / conscious self does not. She is led by passion, and love, and purpose.

As I open myself more fully to my destiny, as I open myself more fully to the path of service, as I open my capacity to give and receive, I get closer to her. As I trust more deeply in my path, in spirit, and in my own inherent divinity, I become closer to her. Her voice and her vision becomes more clear. As I allow myself to reach towards the magic that has the power of creating the life of happiness, sacredness, and pleasure that I desire and vision and deserve, the more real that magic becomes, and the more I take an active part in shaping the reality of my dreams.

I invite you, now, to consider the complexity of your being. Your mysterious, marvelous, all-encompassing self. How have your past experiences shaped who you are today? How have your past “failures” and traumas and pain been necessary steps along the path to this moment? Which dreams of your younger self may have gone dormant, and how are they showing up in your present life and self? Do you feel connected to the radiant being of light at the very center of you? Do you feel connected to your power? To your magic? Are there energies, words, or expressions, wanting to come through? Is there something that needs to shift or crumble to allow that to happen? What do you need to do to TRULY believe in your own divine nature? How do you connect to the goddess / goddexx / glorious sacredness inside of you? How can you deepen that connection, and allow for this divine heart to be your guiding light?